The SHIELD Guide to Parenting
by light-and-Shadows-Mist-and-ice
Summary: *discontinued but will probably be re-written at some point* Two ten year old thiefs, a six year old with superpowers, and a five year old genius. It's a bit insane, and maybe they didn't think this through , turns out some of the best things in life come from split second decisions. To bad S.H.I.E.L.D doesn't have a handbook for the one thing they can't seem to figure out.
1. Section One :Welcome to parenting

Section One

Introduction

Welcome to parenting

May had no idea how she had been talked into taking on even one kid. Even if it was only for a few months. Now somehow she had been talked into three. At least they all seemed like nice kids, and technically speaking she wasn't taking care of any kids. She and Phil weren't married, they weren't even a couple despite everyone thinking differently. They were just roommates. She wasn't legally taking care of anyone

Still, she knew what she was agreeing to.

It wasn't that she had never wanted kids, but that was a long time ago. Things had changed she had just gone back to the field. It wasn't ideal timing. In fact, there was no longer an ideal or even logical timing.

Not that she could back out now. Not without finding a new place to live that way.

There was, of course, part of her that was excited.

A very small part that didn't come out very often these days.

It wasn't like the vast majority of her wasn't happy with the decision. Well, happy might not have been the right word but she didn't regret her decision.

Giving a few kids a home had to be a good decision. After all, that was what S.H.I.E.L.D was about. Helping people.

This program was about helping kids. Even if they were possibilities as the next generation of Agents and Superheroes.

She kept reminding herself that every time she thought about the fact that she was going to be caring for two ten-year-olds who could both take down a grown man in seconds and a six-year-old who could cause earthquakes with a flick of her wrist.

What had she gotten herself into?

Phil walked into the living room,

"That was my mom," he told her, she glanced up at him, "My sister and her husband are going on an undercover mission for a few months, and their daughter is coming to stay with us, or me but us, until they get back," May sighed,

"When does she get here?"

"Saturday, same as Barbara, Alphonso, and Daisy,"

"We need more beds," she exclaimed as she walked away.

Coulson had made a house plan before he had gone to sleep the night before. His plan was to put it on May's desk, unfortunately, she was not there.

"Where's May?" He asked Natasha and Clint,

"On a mission," Clint said,

"Barton, Romanoff, get off your desks,"

"Natasha wins!" Clint exclaimed, " I claimed it would take less than ten seconds because I have full faith in you,"

"It was misplaced faith,"

Coulson smiled at them,

"The fact that you're here means that there's a fist fight in the Avengers section doesn't it?" he asked. They nodded,

"You're supposed to be the earth's mightiest heroes, not a bunch of rebellious teenager's," he told them,

"Hey we are all over eighteen" Natasha defended

Coulson turned away and walked down the hall to the Avengers sector.

May had to admit it was a good house plan. It was insane but good. It wasn't the house plan that was insane. This whole thing was just insane. Of course, she had to wait until they were in the car on the way to the airport to decide this. Maybe she needed a bit of insanity. Or maybe Phil was just getting to her. At least their six-person Van would get some use. Although now she was questioning why they had a car for six people in the first place.

First, they had to pick up Barbara, Alphonso, and Daisy. Then they had to pick up Phil's niece Jemma. The closer they got to the Airport the more this seemed like a bad idea.

The first thing Coulson saw as they pulled into the airport parking lot was Fury's car. Which was a good sign. It meant they didn't have to search the airport. There was possibility they would have to search for Jemma but considering she called them when she had landed and told them her exact location, from the public phone in the airport, it would be easy to find her.

He pulled up next to Fury's vehicle. Outside the car, there were three children, which made sense. Two of them were significantly taller than the third. The shorter one looked much happier with the situation than the other two. May stepped out of the car first. Coulson got out after her.

"May, Coulson, this is Mack, Bobbi, and Daisy."

They all stayed mostly expressionless but the youngest kept some sort of sparkle in her eyes.

Two days later

The shield school building was large and new. Filled with modern building techniques and tens of thousands of people.

It was also had a boy named Lance Hunter.

He was the reason she was standing completely alone.

Bobbi, Mack, and Hunter had been friends for a long time. Then one day Hunter had done something stupid.

The man had clearly been on edge. Unfortunately for them he had been on edge and well dressed. They, of course, tried to talk him out of it, but of course he did it and of course, he got caught. They ran of course. They got away.

Then she had done something stupid.

In the moment it had seemed like a good idea. In retrospect punching, Hunter in the jaw was a bad idea.

She didn't remember much after that. Just that they knocked down a couple bystanders who tried to stop the fight, and eventually Mack pulled her away before she had the charge of second-degree murder.

Turns out all of that gave the man a chance to follow them. Lucky for them he was Shield, not FBI.

Mack was still mad at her and she wouldn't speak to Hunter right now if he was the last human being on earth.

She walked into her class. She found the desk with the name Barbara on it. She hated her full name.

She glanced at the name on the other desk.

Lance

She thought nothing of it. That was until Hunter walked in and sat next to her.

He glared at her and she glared back.

"See you dyed your hair," he noted, she squinted at him,

"I didn't," he glanced at her,

"Oh yeah you didn't, with the squinting it was kind of hard to tell,"

This would be fun.

Coulson sat in the van outside of the School. He was probably supposed to go pick up the children from inside the school. Was he? He had always taken the bus home growing up. Daisy and Jemma were probably too young to find the car on their own, but Bobbi and Mack. They were in fifth grade, but his van looked almost identical to the others. He opened the van door and walked the short distance to the school. He was going to get lost with all these halls. He walked towards the office.

Someone started knocking on the front door about halfway through a very awkward meal. May looked over at Phil. This was quite a normal occurrence on a Monday evening. May stood up desperate to get away from the silence of the dinner table.

She opened the door and found exactly what she expected. There next door neighbour's oldest son, Grant Ward.

The tale of the boys next door was unfortunately not a happy one.

Around the time that May and her now ex-husband had moved into the house so had John Garrett, his wife and his then-infant son.

After his wife had unfortunately passed in a car accident he had somehow had two more sons. The first –Trip– stayed with him every other week, the youngest had moved in a few months ago after his mother had passed away as well. Two or three times a week one of the boys from next door would show up with some insane problem that she or Phil needed to remedy.

"Fitz burned his hand on the stove and we were wondering if we could stay here until our dad gets home." May sighed internally. She nodded before turning around,

"I'll be back in a minute!" she yelled.

Jemma did not like it much around here. She was trying really hard not to let it show. She knew it was a lot of trouble to stay here and uncle Phil and Agent May were being very generous, but well,

This was a S.H.I.E.L.D controlled neighbourhood. Every house looked the same. Every person acted the same. It was very plain.

Plain was good sometimes. In somethings,

Sweaters,

Hairstyles,

Not neighbourhoods or people or schedules.

Also the other girl, Daisy she scared her, just a bit. Not Daisy herself but her powers. She hadn't gotten upset yet, which was apparently the only thing that caused it, so she didn't know how dangerous it was.

She also missed her parents. Undercover meant they couldn't call her and it was making her really homesick.

Seemingly however there was someone else from home right next door. A boy about her own age Leopold Fitz. She immediately recognized his accent as Scottish and had decided to sit next to him on the couch. Now they were sitting silently while everyone else talked. He reached out his hand to her,

"Fitz," he introduced, she was quite sure that was a last name. Which probably meant she was supposed to answer with hers as well.

"Simmons," she responded reaching out her hand.

AN:Carin: I'm sorry that this chapter was so everywhere, the next chapter will be better this one just sorta had a lot to cover and I'm not great at transition's. Also I'm sorry if there's inaccuracies with anything after season 3, but it's an AU so hopefully there won't be.


	2. Section Two :Bonding and Roadtrips

Section Two

Bonding and Road trips,

Road trips are a good method for family bonding.

Over the following weeks, they slowly got into some sort of schedule. May hadn't expected it but part of her was slowly growing attached to the kids. Enough that she was starting to wonder if the temporary guests were going to be so temporary. She hadn't yet mentioned it to Phil but she kept thinking about saying goodbye to the four children,

Of course with Jemma the whole thing was inevitable.

She had parents and when they were back it was possible she would never see her again.

The other three were a different case.

Jemma had her parents, but the other three.

Bobbi and Mack were usually kept together since they'd been removed from the same home. They had each other at least but that wasn't parents and Daisy. Daisy was alone. When she thought about sending away the three kids she was begrudgingly starting to think of as her own back into another terrible scenario. Well, she didn't think it would be an easy thing to do no matter what, but with that added fact…

She wasn't quite sure it would be possible.

Whether or not that was crazy was exactly what she was trying to figure out.

Now was one of the times she was thinking it wasn't.

It was Tuesday Evening and they were eating dinner.

They were all listening to a story about something funny that had happened to Daisy at school, although the story was hard to follow, her theatrics made them all giggle.

As Daisy finished her story Phil started to get their attention.

"So as we all know the long weekend is coming up," he started "and I think that we should go on a road trip." He was met with silence.

"What?" Mack asked

"A road trip, you know we could all get in the car and…"

"But why?" he asked. Coulson paused confused.

"For fun," he responded

"Oh," Daisy exclaimed sounding disappointed,

"What?" May asked her, Daisy opened her mouth but Mack glared,

"Nothing" he responded. He mouthed something to her before turning away and continuing to eat his food. May and Coulson looked at each other.

Friday Evening

Coulson knocked on May's bedroom door.

"You really don't have to knock if the door's open," She informed him, folding a shirt and placing it in her bag

"Yeah I know," he responded, neither of them spoke as Coulson sat down next to her on the bed. "Daisy's really upset," May paused from her packing to look over at him. She squinted at him a bit,

"About what?" she asked, Coulson, shrugged,

"I was hoping you'd know," May looked over at him. This was going to be a problem.

May had no idea it was possible to still care for people who had managed to sing "99 cartons of milk on the wall" three times in the last hour. She hadn't even known that was physically possible before today and now somehow she was not tempted to turn the car around and leave them at the nearest gas station. Something she certainly would have done less than two months ago in the same scenario.

In theory there had to be a point in this where their brains got tired of singing this song and instead rejected the state of wake in order to instead sleep for roughly an hour and a half, or at least enough time for her to put some sort of not terrible music on that they would hopefully sing along to instead.

After another half hour May decided that that was enough, she slammed on the radio. Anything was better than the fourth round of that damned song. Anything.

The first motel they pulled up to looked a bit like it might not pass a health inspection, although according to Coulson, it wasn't a real road trip in less you stayed in at least one of those.

She was eventually convinced on it with the confirmation that they would eat food somewhere else.

When they all got inside they started to take off their shoes,

"Okay taking off our shoes is probably fine, keep your socks on for sure though," Coulson warned examining the floor,

On the way to the second motel, May had found a way to escape the song "99 bottles of milk on the walls,". A fun game she liked to call "no one got a good sleep last night how about you all take a nap," the trick didn't work on Coulson but when he wasn't singing stupid songs he did make for good conversation.

Turned out the second motel was worse than the first. So bad in fact that they went to a camping supplies store and rented out a campground for the night. Which meant that they were finishing off their weekend road trip with more singing.

Also a campfire, that part was kind of nice, and in her mildly sleep deprived state she may have joined in on the final round of singing.

As the door on the tent zipped up behind the kids, May looked over at Coulson as the fire burned in front of them.

They sat down next to each other on the bench near the fire.

" So I think we succeeded at road trips," May noted, Coulson shook his head,

"Nope, we failed,"

"How did we fail?" she asked him, momentarily wondering if they had not sung enough terrible songs about things that did not belong on walls being stuck to walls,

"We forgot to do this," he told her before he leaned in and kissed her. He pulled away. May nodded,

"Suggestion noted," she said firmly before standing up and walking to their tent.

As she stretched in her sleeping bag and smiled to herself for a minute before closing her eyes. The tent un-zipped again and Coulson came in.

They both stayed in silence for a minute on opposite sides of the tent.

May rolled towards him. Coulson moved his arm around her.

"Suggestion accepted,"

On the way back home the only people awake in the car were May and Daisy. Daisy still kept the same gloomy air to her as they stayed in the silent car.

"May?" Daisy said, May glanced at her, "Are you and Coulson sending us away on Monday," May glanced at her again,

"Of course not," May answered, "Why would you think that?" Daisy shrugged,

"I dunno,"

"How about I promise you this, I don't know if your staying here forever, but we will always be honest with you about where you're staying," Daisy nodded.

"Okay," she agreed, somehow as Daisy looked away May wasn't so sure that was the end of the problem.

an: Carin: Hi! So, first of all, I want to say that I'm sorry if May and Coulson getting together seemed rushed, it just was the only time that them getting together seemed to fit in. Second I wanted to thank everyone who favourited and followed my fanfic and if you enjoyed this chapter a review would totally make my day. I know I need to work on making my chapters more together I'm hoping it will improve as the story goes on. Hope you enjoyed and constructive criticism is always appreciated,

Bye!


	3. Bad weeks: Monday

**Section Three: Bad Weeks.** ** _Off weeks are a less fortunate part of life and can be amplified the more people in the house._** **Monday**

May woke up to the smell of something cooking, the sound of laughter and music and the house perfectly warm despite October nearing. As she awoke further she realised the smell was smoke, the sound was screaming and the fire alarm, and according to all other clues the house was warm because something was on fire.

She stood up and then decided that it was better if she crawled because of the smoke in the air. She crawled to the door and touched the door checking if it was warm as recent fire safety pamphlets had instructed. She sighed in relief when it wasn't and reached up to open the door. She crawled down the stairs and through the ground level to the door. She crawled outside and saw Coulson with all of the children, or maybe with four extra, or maybe two were missing. She realized her vision was blurring and wondered just how much smoke had gone into her lungs.

She woke up again on her back and unsure of where she was. A quick scan around told her that she was still outside the house. She sat up, there was a paramedic standing next to her, but no sign of anyone else.

"Where are the kids," she asked suddenly alarmed, the paramedic ignored her, "where are my kids," she asked again, she didn't realize she'd referred to them as "her" kids until after the mater, but quickly decided that they were her kids,

"They just went inside to get their uniforms before we check the house for damage, they're fine but you should probably go to the hospital just to be safe," May sat up.,

"I don't need to go to the hospital," she told the paramedic,

"Ma'am," responded the man who was treating her,

"I'm fine," she assured him. He sighed and shook his head before turning away.

An hour later May was finally at her desk. For once she was relieved to see a case file on her desk. A mission would distract her at least, and after waking up to her home on fire, she was more than ready to kick someone in the jaw.

Turned out the mission involved a lot of not kicking people in the jaw. It turned out the only good thing was that Clint knew how to shut his mouth on a mission.

She was not so lucky on the way back. Since Clint had moved in with his girlfriend, even Natasha was starting to find him annoying.

"So we were walking through the park and then," May had already given him multiple looks and so decided there was no other course of action,

"Clint," she hissed not taking her eyes off the road, "my kitchen lit on fire this morning and this is the low of my day," Clint stopped. They were silent for around five minutes. May's phone rang.

It stopped then started ringing again. It did the same again twice.

"Can you pick that up?" she asked Clint, Clint picked up her phone.

"Hello, yep, yeah she's driving, sure I'll tell her," he looked over at May, "Jemma needs to be picked up from school, there was some kind of emergency," May sighed, and turned down a different street,

"We're taking a detour then," she told him.

Turned out the emergency was that Jemma's gloves had had a hole in them during science, leaving chemical but all over her hand. She suddenly wondered what kind of school S.H.I.E.L.D was running if five-year-olds were using dangerous chemicals. Even though the burn seemed just bad enough to warrant coming home.

As she was in the car back to the office she realized there was a small problem. Usually, she would take Jemma home, redress the wound with better bandages than the generic school ones, give her some Advil and hopefully have her back in school by tomorrow. Today was different. They didn't actively have a house unless she'd missed a call from whoever was inspecting all the pipes and air vents. She would have to take Jemma to the S.H.I.E.L.D building.

The day was long and incredibly boring she was placed on two more steak out missions, Phil had taken Jemma to his office about ten minutes before her second mission of the day. An hour before when she was supposed to get off from work she finally got the call informing her that they were fine to use their house, but their oven was broken. She would find a fix for that tomorrow but for now she would pick something up.

Apparently every other member of the family had had an equally terrible day and were very glad when she came home with food. Everyone else was already in pajamas and a Disney movie was playing on the television.

Luckily Monday was without further disaster (unless you counted falling asleep on the couch a disaster).

 **AN:Carin: this section is going to come out in seven-ish parts, because other wise it would have been like seven thousand words if I had written every day around the same length, Tuesday should be out soon!**


End file.
